Melanie

I turned 50 in September 2021, on the one hand, I feel 50, I have arthritis and have for over 7 years.  Seeing my body decline in flexibility as well as living with chronic pain.  But on the other hand, I now feel connected to a wisdom that I didn’t have in my earlier years.   I now have the life that I always wanted, with a Tantric partner with whom we practice transformational living and a beautiful honouring of who we both are.

But it wasn’t always that way, two long-term relationships that didn’t work out.  The sex and intimacy dying after the first 2 years.  And I was the one who always wanted more sex than my male partner.  I got involved in BDSM which was so freeing in my ability to be myself, but I also found that very often for me I experienced a lack of something, which I realised was a lack of intimacy and a real deep connection to myself and my partner.

I also had a lack of self-worth, a feeling deep down that I was worthless, that nobody would/could really love me, and that I was unlovable. I didn’t like my body, I had been heavily overweight for most of my 20s and 30s, reaching a UK size of 24.  I was unable to look at myself in the mirror, and it had been about 10 years since I had been able to wear a bikini.

And it wasn’t till I did a lot of work on myself that I realised that this wasn’t true. But it took time, I have now been working on myself for over 15 years, and plan now to continue till I die because I love constantly learning and challenging myself to be someone who makes a difference in people’s sexuality, which I believe is my purpose in life.

• Landmark Coach and Ex-SELP Leader
• Esoteric Tantric & Neo-Tantra training of over 6 years
• Clean Language Coaching
• Sexological Bodyworker (CSB & CSSE)
• Board Member of the ACSB (Association for Certified Sexological Bodyworkers)

Services

Sex and sexuality is one of the biggest taboo subjects and it can be scary to explore. It can also be very upsetting as many of us have experienced so much hurt and trauma that it can feel easier to lock it all away and not deal with it. I hold a safe, loving, non-judgemental space so that you can start move forward heal and create the sexual life you want to lead.

I have a passion for supporting people that understand that sexuality not just about the pleasure of the sexual act (which is beautiful in itself). But it can also be a profoundly deep and intense experience when we are fully connected to our body and our heart. When we allow ourselves to surrender (not to another), but to surrender to the feelings and sensations deep inside, that yearn to be listened to, witnessed and allowed to be felt fully.

When we can do this for ourselves, we are able to share that with our partner and have a deep and profound intimacy and love life that is beyond what we thought possible.

There are many reasons people come to me. Here are a few:

• Lack of sex drive
• Genital numbness or pain, including pain during sex and vaginismus
• Lack of pleasure
• Inability to orgasm
• Concerns about body image
• Anxiety or trauma around intimacy
• You’d like to rediscover your body
• You’re stuck in a pattern that isn’t helpful for you
• An interest in enhancing your sex life
• Learning to give and receive sensuality, touch and pleasure
• Self-acceptance of your own body, gender and preferences
• Overcoming emotional or sexual trauma

I work in-person in London or on zoom.