I’ve been on a 20-year journey of self-development, constantly learning to be a better man. On that path, I’ve qualified in coaching and “talking” therapies, I journey into my spiritual self through Tantra and Yoga, and I teach others the tools that helped me.
Along the way, many powerful women have helped me – women who saw the best in me, women who challenged me to become a better man, women who shared their knowledge and gifts with me and women who trusted me with deep vulnerabilities. Thanks to them, I’m becoming the man I want to be.
On that journey, I met one incredible woman who was recovering from sexual assault. She allowed me to hold space for her and, in that space, I learnt both the terrible ongoing effects of assault and the incredible courage and determination of the women who overcome it. She inspired me to learn more, so I qualified in Sexological Bodywork, so I could work with consent, somatics and sexuality in a trauma-informed way. She showed me that this is the most meaningful work I could be doing. And, as she put it, “sometimes the damage done by men needs to be undone with a man”
I work with women reconnecting to their body and sexuality after trauma. I provide a safe, loving space for you to rediscover your desires, your body and yourself.
Supported on your unique journey at your own pace, you might explore:
I blend modern coaching and body-based approaches with spiritual knowledge from yoga and Tantra, which allows you to explore the paths that are best for you.
What to expect in a session
Every session is a place of learning where you’re in control of what to explore. We go entirely at your pace – in fact, nothing needs to happen if you don’t want it to. And everything is welcome – any emotion, sensation, any request you’d like to make.
You choose the environment that keeps you safe and comfortable and you feel is right for you. We could be online-only, and with cameras off during any activities. Or we could be in-person just talking. And, if you decided you wanted to explore massage or intimate touch, that option is available. You only ever do what you are comfortable with at the level that’s right for you – the choice is always yours.
In a session, we’ll jointly choose or design an activity to support your learning and healing, and we’ll adapt it until we find something you enthusiastically want to do. One client and I spent over 90 minutes designing an activity that lasted a couple of minutes: for some people, the healing is in finding something their body can genuinely say “yes” to and, with a severe trauma, even that could take many sessions.
In early sessions, we’ll focus on consent: noticing what your body wants and doesn’t want, your ability to ask for it, and your ability to say “yes” and “no” to requests authentically.
With that key skill in place, you’re free to explore where you’ll learn most. Activities could include learning about movement and breath, exploring fantasies, emotions or “parts” of yourself, self-touch and pleasure, giving and receiving touch from another, or exploring your experience by using symbols and metaphors.
Through the activities, we find, often powerful, inner resources you might not realise you have. We also find resistance – things we can listen to and honour; often things that need to be held safely and helped to integrate back into yourself. Resources and resistance often affect many aspects of your life, meaning that a simple activity can generate profound, life-enhancing change.
“I had severe trust issues with men due to previous trauma but the sessions I received from Paul were so loving and nurturing. He made me feel cherished, seen, attractive but, most importantly of all, safe… Paul is incredibly sensitive, patient and loving. I feel I have made huge progress and feel ready to embark on a new relationship after keeping myself closed down for so many years.”
"Working with Paul has and continues to be transformative for me. He has a special energy and holds such a beautiful safe space. I started with an intense distrust and fear of men, along with deep childhood trauma and sexual trauma. I was scared and unsure what was going to play out. I’ve been blown away by the dynamic that emerged between us, which has and continues to facilitate much healing. Paul has always deferred to my intuition, empowering me, championing me, allowing me my own process. All of me is welcome in session. Even when my fears and conditioning rose to challenge him, he held them gently, with understanding, compassion and honoured me in my process. All this has allowed my feminine to rise and show herself at ever deepening levels. I’m learning to trust myself, hold myself and am creating a deepening safety in myself. I can feel myself expanding after decades of contraction. Working with Paul is a real gift.”
The Three C's
Yoni workshop with Lorraine Crookes and Dianne McCann