Tantra is a mysterious tradition with the power to draw the seeker into the unknown — but what is it, actually?

The topic is easy to get confused about, because the word “Tantra” is used to describe all sorts of things that aren’t Tantric at all — including the widely marketed term “Tantra Massage,” often used as a euphemism for sexual services.

Genuine Tantra runs far deeper than that. It’s an ancient Indian spiritual tradition which, like many ancient traditions, recognizes the interconnectedness of all life — in fact, the word Tantra itself means “web,” referring to that interconnection.

Traditionally, Tantrikas devoted years to meditation and yoga in pursuit of higher consciousness. At the center of this practice is the raising of kundalini energy — a life-force said to lie dormant at the base of the spine — to activate the body’s energy centers, the chakras.

“The body can become a vehicle to that which is beyond the body, and sexual energy can become a spiritual force.”

To practice Tantra is to commit to a life oriented toward higher consciousness — the path of Sanatana Dharma.

Tantric Sex has become a well-known phrase in recent years, largely because so many people feel unfulfilled by conventional sex and go looking for something more. But Tantra isn’t another technique to add to that search. It isn’t about novelty or performance. It’s a way of relating to your own sexuality entirely differently — gentle, still, and unhurried. What changes isn’t the mechanics; it’s you. Breath is the doorway in, and sexual energy becomes a means of activating consciousness rather than an end in itself.

What Makes a Massage Tantric?

There’s a wide spectrum of services marketed under the “Tantric Massage” label — unsurprising, since the word itself has become something of a marketing device.

At one end of that spectrum is erotic massage: a one- or two-hour session built around releasing physical tension, often ending in ejaculation. These sessions can be genuinely relaxing and helpful for stress — but they have little to do with Tantra itself.

Tantra massage, performed by a skilled practitioner, aims at something different: opening a gateway into parts of your own consciousness you may not have known existed. It isn’t a substitute for your own meditation or breathwork — it’s a window into what’s possible when those practices deepen over time.

Kundalini is traditionally described as a coiled serpent resting at the base of the spine. Through meditation, yoga, and skilled bodywork, that energy can be encouraged to rise — through the spine, into the heart, and up to the third eye — activating each chakra in turn. As each one opens, the body is said to release old physical and emotional blockages, making room for deeper reservoirs of energy, creativity, and vitality.

This isn’t an experience suited to everyone. It asks you to step outside the conventional and familiar, and sexual energy — when guided through the kundalini channels — can act as the catalyst for that shift. It’s genuinely difficult to describe to someone who hasn’t experienced it.

What Happens During a Session

A Tantra massage session is built around activating kundalini energy, and breath is central to that process throughout.

Preparation. You’ll be guided on breathing techniques before the session begins — it helps to have practiced this beforehand so you can settle into it more easily once we start. Letting go of preconceptions, particularly around sexuality, allows you to be more fully present for what unfolds.

Opening. The session typically opens with a short kundalini dance or movement practice to begin circulating energy in the body.

Sound. This is followed by a sound bath using Tibetan singing bowls, while you continue deep breathing — a way of settling further into a relaxed, receptive state.

Connection. Next comes a short ritual of connection — eye gazing and guided visualization — to establish trust and presence between practitioner and client before any bodywork begins.

Bodywork. The massage itself begins with you lying face down, initially covered with a sarong, which is removed once oil massage begins.

Taoist and Tantric bodywork work on both the physical and energetic body. Physically, it addresses tension and structural imbalance. Energetically, it aims to work similarly to acupuncture — releasing stored emotional tension so that energy can move more freely through the body’s meridians, often experienced as warmth, tingling, or a pleasant flowing sensation.

I incorporate a few specific techniques:

• Chi Nei Tsang, a Thai abdominal massage technique, to release tension in the belly that can restrict circulation and organ function.
• Karsai Nei Tsang, which works on the pelvic and genital area to release fascial tension that may be affecting circulation, sensation, or long-term sexual function.

Once the body feels more open, we move into working with sexual energy directly. Lingam massage in this context is slow and deliberate — it isn’t intended to lead to ejaculation, and it isn’t a variation on masturbation. Instead, the aim is to allow orgasmic energy to move through the body’s meridians — into the limbs, chest, and head — rather than being released and dissipated in a single point. This distributed experience is what’s meant by a “Tantric orgasm.”

How to Prepare

The best preparation is simple: practice deep breathing in the days beforehand, and come with an open mind. It’s genuinely hard to know what this is like until you experience it — so rather than trying to picture it in advance, come ready to be guided through it.